Whoops.

Here's the link.

I mean, way to create anticipation, right? I'm going with Chris's explanation and claiming I did it on purpose :)

Transitioning

So here's the deal. I'm a little tired of blogger, for a number of reasons. But I feel sort of emotionally attached to it. This happens a lot--I tend to develop emotional attachments to things, even if I am sort of ambivalent toward them. I also tend to attribute emotions to inanimate things, which is probably related. Example: I don't like throwing food away (like, after it has gone bad) because I feel like it makes the food feel bad. Like no one wanted it. Sad, I know (or maybe you were thinking, 'Pathetic, Emilie.' Well, tchah to you, I say!)

At any rate, back to the point. I'm sort of tired of blogger, and I kind of like the increased freedom of wordpress, so I've started a blog over there and imported most of this one. You can find it here. I'm not sure I'll choose that one over this one, so both will remain semi-active while I make up my mind. I guess it's like dating two guys at the same time while trying to decide which one is the one. Or, you know, nothing like that, since I shouldn't be assigning human emotions to inanimate objects. Not like I would do that.

Toil and Trouble

Some of you may know that I have a defective stomach. I mean, that's not medically sound at all, and since I've never actually been to a doctor about the various stomach problems I have, I'm not entirely sure what goes on in there. All I know for sure is that it ain't right. I highly doubt that most people with functional GI systems stock up on nausea medication on a regular basis and tend to go through bottles of Pepto bismol at the rate most people go through a quart of milk!

I kid, I kid. Slightly. My stomach has problems. I need to see a doctor. It has prevented me from running for the past two days. I've had to limit my food intake to BRAT-diet type foods (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast, tea--innocuous, bland, low fiber foods). Anything else I eat makes me unhappy.

Life has been a bit out of order since I decided to not run the National marathon. I really appreciated reading your training ideas and tips. I think I am partially going through a period of adjustment to not having anything to train for, partially still adjusting to my work schedule, and partially just getting a bit depressed from the other partials in my life (see first and second items). The result is that last week I made it to the gym once, and the week before I don't think I made it at all. I've been once this week, and would really like to run tomorrow, Saturday, and Sunday. I just don't feel like myself anymore these days. I feel so bad about how inconsistent I have been with everything, and feeling this bad just makes it harder for me to get back into a rhythm. I tend to end up thinking, "If I can't run 25-30 miles this week then I shouldn't bother running at all." Productive, right? Because that's when I end up letting the week go by without a single trip to the gym.

What I am going to try instead is to just get up and move for 20-30 minutes a day, whether it is going for a run, lifting weights, or just going for a walk. I just need some sort of movement to pull me out of this slump and get me moving again. My guess is that, most of the time, this 20-30 minutes will turn into 45-60. If it doesn't, though, that's alright.

Who knows? Maybe the stomach problems will go away when I start feeling better about other stuff. One can but hope.

See you later, National Marathon

Well, I've pretty much decided that the National Marathon will have to wait for another year. And when I say I've decided, what I mean is that I am halfheartedly accepting the fact that I am neither wholeheartedly into nor wholeheartedly over the idea of this marathon. I guess the fact that I am not wholeheartedly into it is probably the feeling I should be paying attention to, because it is going to be damn hard later on down the line to run 18 and 20 miles when I'm not into it. So I'm saying adios, National Marathon, as much as my heart is aching as I type those words. Seriously.

Having made this decision (and an entire week of not running), I'm realizing that things need some reevaluating. For one thing, I haven't really done much running recently without a marathon in mind. For the last year and a half or so, my daily run has been determined by what's on the training schedule. Which means this: what the hell do I do without a training schedule? I feel like I was dependent on someone for a long time, and now that person is gone and I'm realizing the autonomy I once had (before that person came into my life) is gone, too.

I'd like for my running to keep me in good enough shape to run a half marathon if I feel like signing up for one (I had, actually, signed up for one that took place this morning. Needless to say, I did not run it). I'd also like to start doing yoga again, and continue weight training. I found this article this morning and was thinking about trying to base a routine around it. It would be kind of cool to get to a point where I'm training pretty normally at 35-40 miles per week. Then again, maybe it would be better to not structure things too much, and just run to enjoy it. I'm not really sure. See? I've forgotten how to do this.

So--! Here's my question to you, dear reader: what do you do when you aren't training for a race? Do you just do whatever you feel like doing for that day, or do you try to stick to a plan you have made for yourself?

Feeling discouraged

This is the first week of classes here at Columbia, which mean that work has gone from 0 to about 150 or so almost overnight. I mean, last week I was just dealing with stuff concerning one half of my job, this week I am dealing with that stuff and teaching two classes back to back every day.

I am DRAINED.

I haven't run at all this week. I'm so tired I want to cry. My body just feels like it can't handle any more. I haven't been sleeping all that well, and I haven't had time to do much grocery shopping so I haven't been eating all that well, either.

I still don't know what to decide about the marathon. I guess at this point it's probably out of the question. I got in 10 miles last week and I haven't managed a long run in two weeks now.

More than anything, I think my body is in endorphin withdrawal. This sucks.

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

Yikes, have I really not posted anything since the 10th? Apparently, I haven't. I guess the days just got away from me. I can't even claim being busy as an excuse because I haven't been particularly busy. I have, however, been lifting weights consistently! And working my abs consistently, too! Of course, as soon as a couple pieces of the puzzle fall into place, another piece seems to get pushed out. You'd think they would all fit together nicely, since that is what puzzles do. Apparently I have cut my pieces wrong, though, and I'm still working on filing them down to make it all work.

Basically, what I mean is that I ran a total of about ten miles last week, which is pretty pathetic. I also skipped another long run this past weekend. I am supposed to be training for this marathon right now, but I'm sort of not into it. I'm not really sure what to do either, because I have moments when I think, 'Okay, not a big deal. I've run two marathons, there will be more marathons in the future, not running this one isn't a big deal and it's important that I don't push myself to do it if I'm not into it'. And then I feel sort of good for a while, because I've made a decision. Then that wears off, and I start to regret the decision and reconsider. I'm signed up for this marathon, I had been looking forward to it for a long time, and maybe I just need to be a little more dedicated and get a routine going. Then all the pieces will fit, and things will be great. Right?

Blergh. I don't know.

There is something really appealing right now about just running for the fun of it, and focusing more on shorter distances, and running a few half-marathons, and picking out a fun fall marathon, and having the freedom to skip a run or two, or do some yoga instead of running, and not feel guilty about it. But then it's like...26.2 miles!

Every week I tell myself I will get back on track with training and things will work out, and maybe after getting through the full week, I can see how I feel about it. Maybe my hesitation about whether or not to run has something to do with feeling like I won't be ready, and if I can get through a week of training I'll realize that I don't need to worry about that and feel better. So maybe that's what I should do--just go through the week and not really worry too much about the marathon. Make it a goal to do the week of training, and see how I feel. I had an emotionally draining weekend so today will probably just be a rest day instead of the crosstraining day it should be, but that's alright. Maybe this should just become an exercise in forgiving myself.

Has anyone else ever grappled with this sort of thing? I can't put my finger on what the appeal of the marathon is, and I think that's part of what makes this so difficult. What would you do in this situation?

Snowstorms and shoes

Gah. We are supposed to have this ridiculous snowstorm today here in New York. Personally, I veto that idea. It really interferes with my plans for a 6-mile run and a 10-12 mile run. It should be said that in my position, a fair number of runners would have planned their run around the anticipated start time of the snow. When I went to bed last night, the forecast said the snow would start around 9 a.m. and although I am capable of getting up in the morning, I *never* feel good when I get up in the morning to *run*. And the longer the run, the less good I feel. The exception to this, of course, is a race, for which I have generally had time to prepare myself mentally and physically. But as I got into bed last night, I have to say I just didn't really like the idea of getting up in time to fit in 90-120 minutes of running before 9 a.m. or thereabouts. So I scrapped that idea. It turns out, though, that now the snow isn't supposed to start until around 3, which means I actually have plenty of time to do either six miles or twelve, depending on what I feel like doing. The smart thing would be to do the twelve miles and get them out of the way so I can do the six tomorrow at the gym just in case the weather won't allow a run outside. We'll see if intelligence prevails over lazy. Sometimes I just don't feel like doing long runs on Saturdays, no matter what would be more commonsensical.

This brings me, in a roundabout and entirely unconnected way, to shoes. I returned to my apartment yesterday after a run (in my running shoes, obvs) and changed into my most-recently-discarded pair of running shoes to do some at-home weight training. It then occurred to me--do other people have this weird mania about what shoes they wear? Or, more specifically, about when they wear their running shoes? I checked my closet last night and realized I had three old pairs of running shoes just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing other than collecting dust. But I hold on to them anyway because at some point, I may want to engage in some sort of activity that could (potentially!) necessitate old running shoes. Or running shoes that I would no longer wear to run in because they are sufficiently used up as to be damaging to my feet, ankles, knees, hips, etc. And clearly I would never use my current pair of shoes for that sort of thing. That would wear them prematurely!

Essentially, the instant my running shoes hit their somewhat arbitrarily determined mileage limit (which is contingent upon any number of things, including, first and foremost, how many miles I have logged in them, the amount of money in my bank account, foot [arch, especially] pain that has come out of nowhere and can probably be remedied by new shoes, joint pain that is the same as the aforementioned foot pain, etc.) I deem them no longer acceptable to be worn during a run. BUT! they are perfectly fair game for any other sort of activity. When I stop to think about it, this seems pretty silly. If the shoes are no longer good to run in because they won't provide the support, stability, cushionining, etc. that I need during a run, what is it that makes them acceptable for other activities? Activities they were never designed to take me through in the first place, I should add. My retired running shoes go from miles of pavement to careers in weight training, walking, and cardio machines.

Could this be a reflection of my particular snobism toward running, maybe? Related to the fact that I have always felt, deep down (and not to say that this is correct because my own personal research has shown that it is not necessarily the case), that running is vastly superior to any other activity and, therefore, anything that is no longer good enough for running is still sufficiently superior to any piece of equipment required for anything else that it can do any other job better than something that may actually be designed to do that job? Or is it just the fact that I don't care enough to go out and buy "crosstraining" shoes, or whatever? I mean, they can't possibly be that different from any other shoes, right? How can one shoe be so multi-purpose?

I'm interested to hear how other people treat their shoes. Does anyone recycle them? I feel like this is what I really ought to be doing with those pairs that are taking up valuable real estate in my Manhattan-sized apartment (and by that I don't mean it's the size of Manhattan...you know?) Does anyone else have the same cooky attitude toward them that I do? Inquiring minds (and by that I mean mine) want to know.

Equipment review: Medi-Dyne Prostretch

Well, so far so good with the weight training and abdominal work! After a long run of 12.5 miles on Sunday, I let myself take Monday as a rest day instead of a cross-training day, and rearranged things slightly so that I will be cross-training on Friday instead (normally, Friday is the rest day). So my weight training schedule for this week will be Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday. Ideally, I would like to do a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, although I guess that sort of interferes with a genuine rest day. I'll figure it out as time goes by. My weight workout was combined with a four-mile treadmill run which, in spite of the fact that it took place on a treadmill, was rather enjoyable. The workout definitely took the edge off my bad mood, which is always a win.

But enough about me. The real purpose of this post is to talk about the Medi-Dyne Prostretch, which I received as a gift for Christmas. The instant I opened the package I was excited about it and couldn't wait to use it! I have what feel like perennially tight calves, despite my constant attempts to stretch them. There are also very few stretches that I really feel in my calves; I'm not sure, maybe my calves are flexible and just need deep stretching in order to feel really good. All of the general lunge-type stretches that are common for calves feel like absolutely nothing to me. When I stretch my calves, I often just find a set of stairs and hang one heel off the back of one while pressing down through it. Even this can end up being only somewhat gratifying.

Enter the Prostretch, which I affectionately refer to as the calfinator. Never have I felt a deeper, more relaxing, and more pleasant stretch in my calves! My tight calf problem has been solved. To use the Prostretch, you place one heel up against the back and gently dip your heel back until you have hit a point where you feel like you are getting a good (though not uncomfortable) stretch. What is really great is that there is a huge range of motion allowed; the Prostretch can accommodate people who are looking for a lighter stretch but also satisfies people like me who need an angle that feels like it must be close to 70 degrees.

From what I understand, the Prostretch is extremely useful in helping to treat and prevent plantar fasciitis and also helps relieve heel pain. After using the Prostretch, my lower legs and feet feel really good, and I look forward to using it after my runs!

A word to the wise, though: wear your shoes when you use it, otherwise your heel just sort of smashes against the hard plastic on the heel platform. Not comfortable. Also be aware that if you don't have the best balance in the world, you may want to use the Prostretch near a chair or something you can hold on to for support. You will, essentially, be putting the majority of your weight onto the leg you are stretching, so act accordingly.

Happy stretching!

2009: A year for abdominals

I mentioned earlier that I got these two cool books on weight training for Christmas. The first one, The New Rules of Lifting for Women, is more of a reference resource, while the other, 101 Workouts for Women, is sort of an illustrated guide with a huge amount of sample workouts. I love this, since one of the biggest obstacles between me and consistent weight training (and a lot of other things, for that matter) is structure. I like to have a plan. Unfortunately, I'm not great at coming up with them for myself. The book is divided up into sections for different body parts (abs, arms, shoulders, back, legs, glutes, etc.) with a variety of exercises and workouts for each, and also has individual sections on upper-body workouts, lower-body workouts, full-body workouts, and beginners' workouts. Guess where I'll be starting!

The section on abs consists of 13 individual workouts, one of which is a partner workout. Since I rarely, if ever, workout with a partner, I thought that since there are 12 workouts that I can reasonably do, maybe I would devote one month of the year to each one of them. This way, I am challenging my muscles in a different way pretty consistently, avoiding boredom, and working my way toward a strong core.

My plan is to start with the first workout, which is very straightforward--crunches, reverse crunches, and some oblique work--and do this 2-3 times a week (the book recommends 3 times weekly) for January. By February, I will be stronger and ready for a new set of exercises! I'm excited to see how this pans out. I will keep you all posted about my progress. I know you are all waiting with bated breath to see how this all goes!

Viva la resoluciòn!

You know the feeling you get when you really haven't done anything all day, and it hasn't been relaxing and restorative so much as, like, disappointing? And it's kind of around the time the sun is setting so you have sort of worked yourself into a spot where you are either going to have to a) go to the gym (on January 2! good luck finding a treadmill); b) run outside in the dark; or c) skip your run altogether. Okay, first of all, scratch option c off the list because you haven't really done anything else all day* and going for a run will potentially turn the entire day around and make you feel like you accomplished something. B is actually not too bad, since your neighborhood is residential and safe. But you're kind of scared of the dark. It makes you feel a teensy bit claustrophobic (random, right?!). Signs are kind of pointing to a as your best bet. So you're kind of just sitting on your bed with your laptop on top of your lap typing away and feeling disappointed that your day was totes lame and putting all your eggs in your gym bag.

I honestly do not know what the gym will be like. My mom said she went this morning and it wasn't too bad. Maybe everyone has already given up on themselves! I have mixed feelings about resolutions, really. On one hand, you can make them at any time, why wait for the first of the year? On the other, it is kind of nice to feel like you are giving yourself some direction for the days that lie ahead. It's kind of sad, in a way, though, that we repeatedly feel like something we've done isn't good enough and that we have to wait for this big momentous day in order to work to make things better. I wish we all felt like we had the power to change the things we wanted to change at any time, based entirely on decision to do so. But I digress. Back to the resolutionaries.

It makes me both sad and perversely satisfied to find that by March, gym attendance has dropped back down to normal. Then again, we are all aware of the fact that I am a somewhat sick person who cares little about the pain, suffering, and failure of others (right, guy who fell during the 5k?)--I just want my treadmill access because I am a serious runner and I deserve that treadmill more than you, Mr. Resolutionary. I know your game. You will pump the speed up to 7.5 for about two minutes, then realize you're in over your head, and place either foot on the sides of the treadmill, off the belt, until you catch your breath. Then you will repeat. You will do this over and over again for twenty minutes, without taking into consideration the fact that you spent more time catching your breath than you did running. Meanwhile, I could have been running that entire time, and working on my fitness, which I have been working on for a while and not because I resolved to.

This brings out the worst in me, I tell you! I get possessive about the gym, the treadmill, the locker room--whatever it is that I want access to but can't actually access because someone else is accessing it. I should probably work on letting all of that go. I'm not really a terrible person, as much as I joke about it. I'm happy for those people who resolve to be healthier. I want them to succeed.

So maybe I should make a resolution to be a little more patient about things like this in 2009. Or I should just make sure I don't sit around doing nothing until the sun goes down, and actually go for a run outside on the days when it's possible to do so. Because if I do just waste the day away, ending up at a crowded gym is sort of no one's fault but my own.

*this isn't entirely true. I did spend a fair amount of time honing my ukulele-playing skillz. They are lackluster, but I've only just started. I expect to be a virtuoso by Wednesday of next week.

Race Report: MADD Red Ribbon Run 5k

I may (or may not) have the name of this race wrong. Okay, I just checked. I was only slightly off. The official title is MADD 5k Red Ribbon Run. I'm not overly concerned about it.

I mentioned yesterday that I was hoping to run between 24-27 minutes. Mission accomplished, I'm glad to say! And thanks to all of you who wished me luck. I know it helped :)

I've spent the past two weeks (or so) with my parents, who live in the Washington, D.C. area. I signed up for this 5k a while ago, knowing that my mom was also planning on making it her first ever 5k (CONGRATULATIONS, MOM!). The weather down here has been, generally, pretty mild. Certainly nothing to compare with the conditions Rachel has been facing in the frozen tundra (in my mind, anyway) of Minnesota. To make things interesting, though, we had winds come out of nowhere yesterday, gusting up to 40 mph. In my opinion, one of the best parts of running in this kind of weather is the fact that you could, at any moment, become airborne. Or, you know, get smacked in the head with some flying debris, knocked unconscious, and left for dead. Good times. Anyway, high winds. The temperature was around the mid-thirties, but since it was a late afternoon race, we were dealing with the disappearance of the sun and the subsequent lowering of the temperature. I have low blood pressure, poor circulation, and a body temperature that tends to drop and stay down so I was not particularly excited about these things. Lucky for us, though, this was the cushiest 5k in the world. The starting line was right outside the Concert Hall on the George Mason University campus in Fairfax, VA, so we all waited inside until about five minutes before gun time. Yay for not having to hop around from one leg to another while freezing your buns off outside! Score one for MADD. I should also note that the race volunteers and even a lot of the other runners were super nice. Always a plus. Oh, and speaking of pluses, getting to wait inside the concert hall was also awesome because it meant we all had access to nice, clean restrooms (with toilet paper!). This was good since my stomach is defective and generally causes me no end of problems pretty much all the time. Sorry, TMI. It's just that I know there are some of you out there who understand things like this in the sort of way only runners can.

The race started promptly at four, and as we all began running, some dude just fell! It was weird. I don't know if he tripped, or what. But being the insensitive asshole that I am, I continued on my merry way and figured someone else would deal with him. Things like that make me a little bit nervous, to be honest. My lungs (did I mention that I am suffering from some sort of 19th-century throwback case of consumption? No, I mean, not really, and I shouldn't make light of people who do still have to deal with tuberculosis. My point is my lungs are congested with this nasty cough that won't go away and running has been sort of difficult because of it) tightened up as though someone had them in either a clenched fist (ew!) or a vise (more ew!). I wanted to find a pace that was challenging but that would ensure I could finish the race without hacking up a lung. Or collapsing one. You know, one of the two.

The wind was brutal the entire time, and between my defective stomach and my defective respiratory system (I swear, can I get a refund? Because this is not working for me and I feel a little bit ripped off) I felt a little more beaten down by it than I normally would have. But I soldiered on! And I managed to pull a 26:02! Now, no, this is not the 23:xx that Chris suggested, but that is certainly on the horizon. I mean, we are almost there. Plus I got to feel superior when some little kid (there were waaaaay too many little kids running this race. I am sorry if that offends anyone who likes to have their kids run races with them--this also makes me nervous because I am always scared that I won't see them and I will trip on them. Plus they don't really have a sense of race etiquette and tend to just stop in the middle of the course if they poop out, without going over to the side of the road first. Of course, adults do that too. At least kids have the excuse of being young and, you know, kids) announced to his mother that he ran a 26:07. HA HA, munchkin! Pwned!!!!!1!! Just kidding.

I just want to also say how proud I am of my mom for running this race. It is not easy to run a course you are unfamiliar with when it is really cold and extremely windy, and my mom was a real trooper. I hope this is one of many races for her.

If any of you fair readers find yourselves in the Washington, D.C. area around New Year's in years to come, I recommend this race. The course is pleasant, and the race overall is extremely well-organized with really, really nice volunteers. A good time was undoubtedly had by all. Except that guy who fell. I hope you're alright, buddy. Sorry I didn't stop to make sure.

I hope you all had a very happy and healthy New Year! Now get ready to fight for treadmills at your local gym :) And it made me so happy to read all your comments. I missed you guys!

2008: A Year in Review or, Where the hell have you been?!

And rightly so. I mean, if you were actually wondering where I've been. Well, I've been here and there. You know. Doing things. Not blogging. Feeling slightly guilty about it. But I guess sometimes you need some time away from something you like before you realize how much you like it. And blogging, I just want to tell you this one thing: I missed you! I'm glad we were able to work on the problems we were having. Let's never fight again <3.

Honestly, though, I sort of went through a bit of a slump (surprised?) during which I didn't really feel too much like broadcasting anything. But now I'm feeling better, and I feel like egotistically and self-indulgently rambling about my life on the internet once again. Bless you, internet, for giving everyone a chance to feel important. You're the greatest. I mean it.

So, what have I been up to since September 1? Well, the past four or so months have been full of change for me. First of all, there's the new job and the fact that I am no longer living below the poverty line as a graduate student. That is some fun stuff. Second, I am still trying to weight train consistently. But come on, if you read this and found out I had all of a sudden managed to start lifting three times a week with the dedication of a zealot, you would probably be disappointed and possibly (actually, let's say definitely) incredulous. So why lie to you? I'm still working on this. But I got these really cool books for Christmas that I think should answer some questions and set me on the right track. More about that later, I promise. I have big plans. Third, I successfully completed my second marathon and although I had thought my training was lackluster, I managed to shave around fourteen or fifteen minutes off my time. I call that an awesome win, all around. I also picked up about fifteen pounds (one for each minute off my time? I am not sure I think that's fair) which I am hoping to shave off. I mean, I feel like I am just carrying around extra baggage. It's so uncomfortable. The weird thing is, I don't think you'd really notice a difference if you'd seen me before the weight gain and after. But it is definitely there. And it needs to go away.

Right now, I am training for my third marathon, the National Marathon in Washington, D.C. on March 21. I'm a bit nervous about this one, considering what happened last time I tried to go from one marathon to the next without a significant break in between. It remains to be seen whether I will manage to pull it all together and not somehow sabotage myself into not being able to run this one; if I do run it, obviously this will be a pretty significant achievement for me, psychologically. Stay tuned, folks, this is bound to be a fascinating journey.

To cap the year off, I am running a 5k this afternoon with my mom. Recently my pace has begun to speed up for reasons I do not completely understand. For the longest time I felt happy if I could average something under 10:00 minutes per mile on a run over three miles. Now I'm (fairly) easily maintaining sub-9:00 min/miles on six-mile runs, and feeling really, really good throughout. For some people, I know this is still a tortoise-like pace. For me it's a really big deal. I'm excited to see how the race this afternoon plays out. I mean, not that I expect to place at all, but I don't think I've ever raced a 5k faster than 28:xx minutes (this may also have to do with the fact that I rarely run 5k races). I'm shooting for around 24-27 minutes today. I know, that's a pretty broad range. But I have a chest cold and I'm not sure how that's going to affect my ability to, you know, breathe. I hear that oxygen is kind of important.

Anyway, that concludes my rambling. For now, anyway. I hope everyone has had happy holidays and enjoys the new year!

The return of the weekly challenge

So, yeah, my previous weekly challenges weren't all that successful. I'm the first to admit it! They weren't all spectacular failures, though, which is important to note--I am still pretty much Diet Coke free. I do have one every now and then, but it is super rare. So score one for me and the weekly challenge!

At any rate, I thought that given all the life changes I'm going through lately, and all the effort I am making to sort of reset my life, it would be appropriate to bring the weekly challenge back. As of tomorrow, I am going to give getting up early in the morning to run another shot. Not only will this be more convenient with my work schedule, it will also give me a chance to relax during the day and not worry about going running in the afternoon or evening, and will (hopefully) help me to avoid some of the crowds in Central Park (which have been exceedingly unpleasant lately).

On a semi-related note, I have started the 100 push-up challenge over again. Man, am I out of shape. Since today is September 1st, I think today would be a good day to make a commitment to strength training. I've been so bad about doing it consistently in the past, but lately the importance of it has really been driven home to me and I'm kind of scared of the consequences of not doing it. Case in point: a couple weeks ago I visited my paternal grandmother, who is in a rehabilitation facility recovering from a knee injury. One of the women who is in the rehabilitation facility with her is there because her bones pretty much collapsed one day while she was watering her garden. Essentially, her bones were so porous as to be see-through, and got to a point where they could no longer support her weight. While she was watering her garden, they just shattered. Hearing about that was a wake-up call! And, to a slightly lesser extent, so was the difficulty of doing those push-ups this evening.

Load of crap

Do you ever have those days where it seems like absolutely nothing is going right? For me, that day has been about two and a half months long (although in the interest of full disclosure, I have to admit it has not exactly been a stellar year) and seems to be reaching its apex now, at the end of July. This either means that things can only get better in August or that things are going to veer toward this massive disastrous catastrophe for an unspecified amount of time to come. I would be optimistic, but I kind of feel like I've been living in a sh*t storm for a while now, and nothing will kill hope like a situation like that.

The day started with me having to weigh myself for my ediets check in. I started the diet in April and then went off of it in May, came back to it in June and have been on it since. Although I initially lost some weight (and felt listless and lethargic in the process), I gained it all back when I went off the diet. Since going back on it, I haven't been able to report a net loss of any pounds. I will lose a pound or half a pound in a week, then promptly gain it back the following week, without doing anything differently, really. My mom thinks I should be running more, but I don't really know that this diet allows for much more activity than I already have in my life (3-4 days of running a week which will be steadily increasing mileage-wise as I get into my training for the marathon and 3-4 days of pretty intense yoga), unless I want to be totally drained of energy pretty much all the time, meaning crappy workouts and, more generally, feelings of crappy all around. So the day started with yet another weight gain, and when you report weight gains to ediets, they kind of scold you and then ask you if you want to reduce your calorie intake, because that is sure to boost your energy levels. I'm done with ediets. I'm totally, 100% over it. What a great start to the day!

I have to move again soon (in spite of feeling like I just moved, which I sort of did) and that is turning out to be disastrous. What makes it even better is the fact that I am moving for this new job, which I supposedly started on July 1st, except that as of today, I am still not in the system as an employee. This is just another thing on the list of things that have gone wrong so far with this job.

This is all just so tiring. I feel overwrought, overwhelmed, fed up, and run down. All of this BS has really just drained my energy and the last thing I feel like doing right now is going for a run, even though I can acknowledge that it would probably do me some good.

What I really want is to just leave everything behind and start over somewhere. I have a vacation to San Diego coming up and the idea of just going out there and staying is looking better and better by the minute.

6 things about me that will undoubtedly blow your mind

I know this one has been a long time coming--here are my 6 things that I'm posting because I was tagged by Rachel about one million years ago.

1. I really, really dislike the taste of milk. I don't mind it in recipes, but I cannot stand it on its own and I will pass on a bowl of cereal if there is no soymilk to be had. I think the idea of milk is weird, too, because when you think about it, humans are the only animals to drink the milk of another animal. I sort of have a problem with that (it just seems sort of gross to me) but oddly enough I am a big fan of cheese.
2. I started running when I was high school. I did track in my sophomore year and hated it (or at least really disliked it, because I am not all that fast and don't really do short distances) and cross-country in my junior year and really liked it. My friend and I would run together during practice and developed a nice pace that we lovingly referred to as 'the comfort stride'. It was like magic. We also skipped one or two long runs by ducking into the woods and waiting for people to pass us on our way back! Those were the days.
3. I went to a public school with a French immersion program and started learning the language at the age of five. From kindergarted through sixth grade, my education was primarily in French even though it followed the same curriculum as all of the other public schools in the county. I continued studying French for 21 years and just left school after a BA, MA, and two years of PhD study in French literature.
4. I've been up and down the east coast (although I have only really driven through some states, like South Carolina and Connecticut) and visited parts of California but have seen very little of the country other than that. I spent a few hours in a Texas airport (Houston? Dallas? I think it was Houston. Maybe) and a couple days in Baton Rouge, LA, but have never been to the midwest.
5. I really don't understand why Sandra Lee (of the Food Network) uses 'whipped topping' instead of something like reddi-whip. I understand the concept of the show, with convenience food and all that jazz, but I don't really see how 'whipped topping' is more convenient than reddi-whip. And not that I'm endorsing reddi-whip, but at least it is made with real cream and would actually qualify as a food. 'Whipped topping' is an adjective and a noun, neither of which are actual foods. It just seems to me that you shouldn't sacrifice food quality if you don't have to. Plus, if you can so easily use real whipped cream in a recipe, why wouldn't you? This really, really puzzles me.
   
6. On two separate occasions, Huey Lewis has told me very emphatically that I am pretty. When I feel bad about myself, remembering this makes me feel better. Unsolicited compliments always have that effect.

Since I think just about everyone else I know has been tagged already, I am going to take advantage of the fact that I have blogging friends and family members (who, to be honest, do not all have running-related blogs, but I don't think that matters) and tag them! So, I am tagging Mike, Suewho, Zebeckras, and Binx. No, that doesn't add up to six, but oh well. Here are the rules:

-link to the person who tagged you.
-post the rules on your blog.
-write six random things about yourself.
-tag six people at the end of your post.
-let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
-let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Time for Training

After I registered for the Philadelphia marathon, I spent some time looking for a training plan (honestly, I may have started looking for the training plan before registering. Really, though, the order in which these things happened is inconsequential) and, in a fit of delusional perception of my current fitness level, chose to use Hal Higdon's Intermediate I training plan. The plan is well-balanced with two twenty-mile runs toward the end of the program, five runs a week, and a fair amount of weekly miles (starting at around 24 for the first week). The problem is that I tend to go into denial about certain things and I like to believe that I can do things that I am not entirely prepared for. Such as (just in case you are not following me here) this training plan. I think the problem is that I chose something thinking that maybe if I shut my eyes real tight and forgot about reality, I could pretend that maybe I hadn't lost an enormous amount of fitness in the past few months. What can I say? It's hard to go from easily running 8-10 mile training runs to being exhausted by four or five. So I guess I kind of thought that if I chose a training plan that was appropriate for me about six months ago that I would be magically transformed back into that six-month-ago version of Emilie.

As the time to start the training program drew nearer and nearer, I kept looking at it and going over what it was asking me to do. I made a lot of progress endurance-wise in the past few weeks but the first long run distance of this Hal Higdon plan is 8 miles, which I have serious doubts that I can do at this point. The long run was supposed to take place this past weekend, but for screwy and frustrating reasons, it didn't happen. I don't know if I'm capable of running 8 miles, and this week I am supposed to run 9.

So I thought maybe I should shop around a little bit and consider a different program. Last year, I trained with one that I found in an issue of Runner's World magazine. This program is good, obviously--it got my through my first marathon and I enjoyed it the whole time. I never felt overwhelmed by it, but I always felt challenged. So I thought maybe I should go back to that program. But for some reason I am resistant to it. I wanted to try something different, but maybe I sort of shot myself in the foot by slacking off so much for such a long time. I don't even know exactly why I want a different plan. I've looked at Hal Higdon's novice training plans, but they don't really appeal to me and I can't even explain why. I feel sort of silly about this whole thing, because clearly I have this penchant for the Runner's World plan but I'm still second-guessing everything.

Does anyone else do this or am I just super neurotic (I mean, obviously don't answer that question by saying, 'You're neurotic!')? How do you choose a training plan? I'm interested in hearing about other people's experiences.

Fighting with the Wii Fit

This week I am spending some time visiting my friend Mike in Philadelphia. A while ago (at the time of its release, actually), Mike ordered a Wii Fit and he just received it this past weekend. So yesterday we eagerly set it up and played with it for a while. Even though I have been pretty awful at everything that has to do with the Wii since I first laid eyes on it (honestly, no one is worse than me at Wii sports. I am also a pro and Mario Kart and cannot win a single race in the Wii version of that game to save my life), I thought that I would probably have a good chance of doing well with a fitness game. WRONG!

The first thing you do when you set up the Wii Fit is have it take your weight and height in order for it to calculate your BMI. Mine is, apparently, just at the cusp of overweight (it is worth stating, I think, that the weight that the Wii Fit gave me was roughly five pounds heavier than I actually weigh) with a BMI of 24.somethingabovefifty. The Wii Fit then tells me I should aim for a healthier BMI of 22 and has me calculate how much weight I have to lose in order to do so--18 pounds! I never even thought I had 18 pounds to lose. That would require me losing muscle mass, I'm pretty sure, and I'm not really in the mood to do that. We are not off to a great start.

The next thing you do is a balance test to figure out your Wii Fit Age. Mine is 39. Yeah, that's right, to the Wii Fit, I am 13 years older than I really am. This result is based on my performance on a balance game. So even though I can make it through 90 minutes of yoga classes (which involve a huge amount of balance) and do balancing poses like tree, eagle, crow, side plank, and warrior 3, I'm 50% older, fit-wise, than I should be. According to a video game.

Needless to say, I was not all that happy. I mean, I know it is just a game, it's not to be taken seriously, but it sort of felt like a real blow. I will see if the Wii Fit and I can make peace with each other. I did have a proud moment when I beat (well, by beat, I mean I got a perfect score) on one of the 'harder' yoga poses, that you have to unlock in order to do. I am, apparently, simultaneously a yoga master (according to the Wii Fit, mind you!) and 39 years old. These are things I never knew about myself.

In other news, I recently registered for another marathon which means there are now two on the horizon (Philadelphia in November and the National Marathon in March '09), and I updated my blog so that I now have links to the blogs of my fellow Virtual Run Club members. I also want to welcome SueWho to the foodie blogosphere and I encourage everyone to welcome her and read her healthy eating ideas! This is the woman who has helped me along the path to healthy eating throughout my life; she is a great cook and comes up with great ways to work healthy food into everyday eating!

I was also tagged by Rachel, and I promise I will follow up on that soon :)

A different sort of run: run down

I am out of it today! I had planned on getting up early for a 6:30-7:30 am yoga class but opted out when I woke up around 5:40 feeling absolutely drained. I went back to sleep and woke up a few hours later and haven't felt much better all day. I have a low-grade headache and a weird, lingering fatigue. It has sort of gotten in the way of my doing just about anything today.

I did manage to put air in my bike tires and I call that a win. I am going out for an early dinner to celebrate my new job and am hoping that if I take it easy this afternoon (and maybe even lie down for a while, although I really hate that idea) I will be able to hit the gym later tonight.

I'm not entirely sure why I am feeling so run down today, but I guess that's not really all that important. Some days are just like this. I just don't like the fact that it is sort of interfering with the things I would like to get done today. I'm also hoping it passes because I am running a 5k tomorrow with my sister and I don't want to feel like I am struggling through it!

Thanks to everyone for their well-wishes and support for me during my job search and its outcome. It means a lot to me to know that you are all so supportive!

Employment! And yoga!

After a long stint in the doldrums, I think I can now state with confidence that things are on the up and up! Yesterday I accepted a job at Columbia teaching French in the department and coordinating events and programs at the French house (also known as la Maison Française). This means a couple of things: 1) gainful employment!; 2) I'm moving back to New York after a stint at my parents' in the DC area; 3) an enormous source of stress in my life is gone! If, by any chance, any of you have connections to anyone (sane) who is looking for a roommate in New York, let me know. Or if you have suggestions about places to live in New York that are not too expensive (har, har, I know), let me know.

Running has taken a back seat for a while but now that I am participating in this virtual training group, I feel more motivated. Plus I will start training pretty soon for the Philadelphia marathon. Lets hope that this training period goes better than the last one. In spite of this extended period of difficulty with running, I've been doing a ton of yoga so I have not been entirely idle. I've been going to this studio not far from my parents' house and I have to say it can be somewhat hit or miss. It has taught me a lot about what I look for in a yoga teacher, and what I sort of never want to see from a yoga teacher. It has been an interesting learning experience, if nothing else. And I have toned up a bit in the process!

Is anyone else doing any yoga? I have always thought it was a good complement to running, since it counteracts a lot of the muscular tightness that running tends to encourage. If you do any yoga, what do you like or dislike in a teacher? I am sort of curious to hear about others' experiences.

I'm still a runner!

The last week has been insane--far busier and difficult than any other week that has given me trouble over the course of this past year. Because I left Columbia, I had to be out of my University-owned Manhattan apartment by the end of May, which, roughly translated, meant a Saturday move-out. This also meant that I spent the week leading up to this day packing, purging, and shuffling stuff around so that my move would go as smoothly as possible (as if that ever happens, no matter how hard we try). In all honesty, I hate moving. When I sat down and thought about it, I realized I had moved seven times in the past eight years (that is to say since moving out for college). That is a lot of moving. My dream right now is just to settle in somewhere for longer than two years. It is just such a stressful process. Anyway, like I said, the week involved a lot of work. Saturday I packed up a Uhaul truck and a minivan with the help of my parents and friend Mike; Sunday I unpacked the Uhaul truck and managed to somehow hurt my back (not significantly, but enough so that I was pretty uncomfortable); and yesterday I unpacked the minivan. Last night was my first good night of sleep and I still feel sort of beat up and run down. I am now living at my parents' house until I have found employment that is gainful enough to enable me to move out.

Unsurprisingly, I didn't run at all last week. There just wasn't time and with all the work I was doing getting ready for this move, I didn't have the energy. I'm disappointed about it but I am trying not to be too hard on myself about it. I have just had the hardest time getting into a solid routine. It's aggravating, really. Hopefully this week will be a bit quieter and will allow me to get back into the habit of running. I will keep you posted.

More than anything, I just wanted to post to let everyone know that I am still alive and that I am also still a runner; just in case you thought I had gotten so disillusioned that I had decided to give it all up!