When I thought about it yesterday, today's agenda had far more on it than lying in bed feeling miserable, eating the occasional toasted bagel, drinking orange juice and popping tylenol, and watching a few movies. I had thought I would get in a 20-mile run, work on my pushups, maybe lift weights (depending on how the 20 miles went), get my taxes done, and grade and correct backlog of work for my students. That was before I spent most of last night tossing, turning, and wondering why I couldn't really swallow.
It's nothing serious, really, just an irritated throat brought on by what I'm guessing is everyone's favorite annoyance: the common cold. The problem is that of all times, this is probably the worst one during which it could make its appearance. I'm amazed that I managed to stave off illness this long. Sadly, my body has now succumbed at this most crucial of marathon training times.
This just brings me down, really. I had been hoping that I'd be able to get myself back on track (yet again) and run my long run, and sort of reestablish my confidence in my ability to run this marathon, coming up in less than a month. Now I am really doubting myself. I wonder if I shouldn't just throw in the towel. I have been struggling to get through the training for the past four months--it has been completely different from my experience training for the Philadelphia marathon. This time around, I have felt less like a runner than ever before. Mostly, I have felt like an impostor. Of course, lying in bed with little to do except wish I felt better and my body felt a little bit stronger and not so plagued by aches and pains doesn't exactly make things easier. All I can do, really, is sit here and think about things I have done wrong, when what I would really like to do is go out and correct my mistakes.
Here's hoping that tomorrow I feel a little bit better.